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Band 4

The plan shows the design of a community centre 10 years ago.

#plan #design #community #centre #years
The maps illustrate some notable modifications that were made to a community centre over the 10 periods. It is noticeable that there are three crucial alterations made to three directions of
hall
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the hall
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. These have involved a new massive
office
 , a new area of indoor sports and a substantial division of
old
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the old
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office
. Looking at the changes in more detail, there were four small offices in the northwest of
hall
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the hall
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,
nonetheless
 after 10 years these offices have changed by a wider
office
 which has escalated more than fourfold.
In addition
,
garden
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the garden
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was
Wrong verb form
is
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 no longer present these days and
instead
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,instead
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 we can see an addition of an area for indoor sports on the northwest side of
hall
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the hall
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.
Nevertheless
, to be significantly different from the addition of
indoor
Correct article usage
the indoor
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sports’
Change noun form
sports
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 section,
car
Correct article usage
the car
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 park having been on the southwest of
hall
Correct article usage
the hall
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, has not undergone any modifications .
This
maintaining
Replace the word
maintenance
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for
Change preposition
of
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car
Correct article usage
the car
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 park has been similar to the
preservatuon
Correct your spelling
preservation
 of positions of storage and kitchen on the southeast of
hall
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the hall
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. These two maps
additionally
 show that changes
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have
constructed
Add a missing verb
been constructed
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 to storage, toilet and
office
 areas on the south of
maps
Correct article usage
the maps
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.
Firstly
, after 10 years
storage
Correct article usage
the storage
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 section has been replaced by a new cafe area situated under the position of
hall
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the hall
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. Via the end of
community
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a community
the community
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 centre in the south , a tiny
office
 has been altered by a coffee bar .
To sum up
,
hall
Correct article usage
the hall
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 and toilet positions of
centre
Add an article
the centre
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 have not changed until now.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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