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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visited a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visited a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
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 staying on
cruise
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ships
Use synonyms
 and staying on
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island
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an island
the island
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 in the Caribbean
island
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 between 2010 and 2017. The total
amount
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 of
visitors
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 showed a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 rise over,
also
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
tourists
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 who stayed on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
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 increased.
While
Linking Words
 the millions of
tourists
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 staying on
Use synonyms
island
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the island
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 experienced a downward tendency. In 2010, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 who stayed on
cruise
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ships
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 and
island
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 around 250,000 and 750,000 people respectively. The
number
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 of
visitors
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stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 on
cruise
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ships
Use synonyms
 went up rapidly, exceeding
visitors
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 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
an island
the island
show examples
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
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half of 2015 and reaching approximately 2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
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. The
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
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 increased and remained constant by 2015. After that people who visited the
island
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 declined. The graph
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 shown at the lowest point of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. The total
number
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 of both
tourists
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 who stayed on
cruise
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ships
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 and
Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
rew
Correct your spelling
grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sharply until 2015. Between 2015 and 2016, the
overall
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 stayed at the same level.
Then
Linking Words
 climbed to 3.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
. The total line
has shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the highest point
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, visitors, cruise, ships, island, tourists, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
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