IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

All parents wants the best opportunities for their children. There are some who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #schools #skills #range #subjects #future
Education is a fundamental right of every human all around the globe. All parents want the best opportunities for their wards. A few people are of the view that educational institutions should teach young generations skills.
While
 others are of the belief that having a variety of
subjects
 is better for a
child
's
future
. I will discuss both views in
this
 essay
along with
 my opinion. On the one hand, in today's ,time all parents want their kids to learn a skill at the school level that will help them excel in life.
Furthermore
, people actually want the educational institutions must come up with the ideas to teach children skills, rather than giving them basic knowledge of different
subjects
.
For instance
, a mother who desires to make his
child
 a chef would expect his ward's school to teach him the same unless or
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 his
child
 wants to learn about something else.
As a result
, a
child
 from the beginning will develop an interest and knowledge about that particular field which will help him in fulfilling his
future
 dreams.
On the other hand
, many people around the globe think that schools must follow the basic concept of teaching a variety of
subjects
 as it is better for children's
future
.
Moreover
, a
child
 in his younger days does have the capability to decide what is better for him and what he will opt for as a career in
future
. So, all the options should be open and available to a
child
 when he comes to a certain age where he can think of making the right choice
according to
 his interests.
Thus
, schools must provide basic of all
subjects
 so that children can have a variety of options available to them. In conclusion, I would argue that parents should not force anything upon their wards
instead
 they must leave them to make their own choices in life.
Also
, proper guidance must be given at all times for their better development. In my opinion, I think a
child
 will flourish more in an open and free environment than in a closed one.
Submitted by resume2012principal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: