IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time,People spend cummuting (travellers to work), parks and gardens close to the city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, Others disagree with this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #amount #time #travellers #work #parks #gardens #city #centres #apartment #buildings #commuters
A few individuals trust that to lower the amount of flow, Touristers spend travel to and fro, Government places close to the city centres should be replaced by tourister's houses for commuters to live in. I shall discuss both views in the upcoming paragraph. To commence with, There are
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons for
this
 given notion. The most prominent one is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 pollution and accidental cases are very rare. To Simplify, If the
parks
 and
gardens
removed
Add a missing verb
were removed
show examples
 and constructed buildings for
touristers
Correct your spelling
tourists
.
Thus
, the
people
 live in these apartments and the moment of vehicles slow down. Significantly, Pollution
also
 reduces
and
Correct word choice
apply
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the rare chance of accidents.
For instance
, In Chandigarh,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 built many apartments and houses for individuals to live in and the pollution in
this
 city is low.
Moreover
,
People
 follow proper rules and regulations.
On the other hand
, The other reason is that if the
parks
 and
gardens
close
Add a missing verb
are close
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 to the
cities
.
Therefore
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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older
people
 do not take proper exercise
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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.
Moreover
,
Chidren
Correct your spelling
children
also
 do not walk and exercise in the evening. To Justify, Most of
citizens
Add an article
the citizens
show examples
 in the
cities
unhealthy
Add a missing verb
are unhealthy
show examples
 and remain unfit. If the
parks
 and
gardens
 are closing down.
Furthermore
, Children do not play some outdoor activities
such
 as cricket and football
due to
 close down the
gardens
. To exemplify, In China,
People
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not healthy and fit because they do not play outdoor activities and games.
Significanty
Correct your spelling
Significantly
,
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
 government replaces so many empty places and
construct
Correct subject-verb agreement
constructs
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 buildings in these empty places.
To conclude
that
Correct word choice
apply
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,
According to
 my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
Correct article usage
the governmnet
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governmnet
Correct your spelling
government
governments
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not replace
parks
 and
gardens
 in
cities
 and
construct
Correct subject-verb agreement
constructs
show examples
 buildings for
touristers
Correct your spelling
tourists
 in empty spaces around the
cities
 without damaging
any
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 environment.
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