The chart below shows the average cost of monthly contract for four diﬀerent mobile (cell phones) in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.

#cost #contract #four #diﬀerent #cell #phones #european #country #january #september #euro

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The multi-line graph illustrates data regarding cell phones expended

among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every month

from

Change preposition

show examples

a European nation from Jan to September. Generally speaking,

it is clear that

Linking Words

the

overall

Linking Words

amount of money about telephones has dramatically increased in the considered time period, albeit with specific trends for each country. First off, in January Alpha was less in a state,

while

Linking Words

more increasingly numerous in other types of cell phones. After that, until

June

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

money spent remained

roughly

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at roughly

show examples

euros

Use synonyms

Similarly

Linking Words

, Lex had a

slowly

Change the word

slow

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rise in

this

Linking Words

same period, which

held

Verb problem

was

show examples

likely 12

euros

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However

Linking Words

, the Alpha faced a steep and constant climb in the number of costs, skyrocketing from 5

euros

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to 25

euros

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between

June

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and September. ,

Linking Words

Similarly

Add a comma

,Similarly

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the standard cost of agreement regarding the Lex

creep

Wrong verb form

crept

show examples

up 13

euros

Use synonyms

to roughly 18

euros

Use synonyms

in the four months.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the Domo and the Sim TX faced moderate growth in the rate of monthly

contract

Fix the agreement mistake

contracts

show examples

before

June

Use synonyms

, which

reaching

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

euros

Use synonyms

and approximately 15

euros

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Finally

Linking Words

, the number of the Domo in

June

Use synonyms

and the Aipha in September both had the highest, which

the

Add a missing verb

was the

show examples

same 25

euros

Use synonyms

Submitted by cyh000823 on Thu Aug 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words june, euros with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

191 words

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The chart below shows the average cost of monthly contract for four diﬀerent mobile (cell phones) in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people believe that public buildings should be move out of the city to promote citizen's well-being and better growth, while some argue that the planning will cause more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.