IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that harsher punishments are the key to reducing crime rate, while others argue that addressing the root causes of crime is more effective.

The issue of
crime
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 and how to effectively reduce it has been the subject of much debate.
While
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 some argue that harsher
punishments
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 are necessary to deter criminals, others believe that addressing the root
causes
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 of
crime
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 is the key to long-term
crime
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prevention
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.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion on the matter. Proponents of harsher
punishments
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 argue that they act as a deterrent, dissuading potential crimes from committing
offenses
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offences
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. The threat of severe penalties,
such
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 as prison sentences or even capital punishment, may discourage individuals from engaging in criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Additionally
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, correspondents claim that tougher
punishments
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 can provide a sense of justice for victims and their families, helping to maintain social order.
On the other hand
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, advocates for tackling the underlying
causes
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 of
crime
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 argue that
prevention
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 is more effective than punishment alone. They suggest that many individuals turn to
crime
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due to
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 socioeconomic factors,
such
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 as poverty, lack of education, and limited opportunities. By investing in programs that tackle these underlying issues,
such
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 as providing access to quality education, job training, and social support systems, society can address the root
causes
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 of
crime
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 and reduce its occurrence in the long run. Some may argue that
focus
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focusing
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 solely on addressing the root
causes
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 of
crime
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 without implementing harsher penalties may lead to a lack of accountability and a sense of impunity for criminals.
However
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, it is important to note that
prevention
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 and punishment are not mutually exclusive. A comprehensive approach that combines both strategies can be more effective in reducing
crime
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 rates. In conclusion,
while
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 harsher
punishments
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 may act as a deterrent and provide a sense of justice, addressing the underlying factors that contribute to
crime
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 can lead to long-term
prevention
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. In my opinion, a
balance
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balanced
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 approach that incorporates both strategies is crucial. By implementing appropriate
punishments
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 for criminals and simultaneously investing in programs to reduce the
crime
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’s
causes
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, society can work towards reducing
crime
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 rates and creating a safer environment for all.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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