IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods

#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #surveys #visit #two #periods
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The table shows the statistical data
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
on visitors
show examples
 to the
Ashdow
Correct your spelling
Ashdown
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museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 before and after the advancement of
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museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
 and the chart displays the data about
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Add an article
the satisfaction
show examples
 level of
visitors
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 to the
museum
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 before and after the refurbishment. From the available record, it is
cleared
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
visitors
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 to the
museum
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 has increased after decoration and
also
Linking Words
 the
satisfaction
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 level. The numerical values of the table
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of people who visited the
Ashdow
Correct your spelling
Ashdown
museum
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 has increased from 74000 to 92000 after the
museum
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has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 decorated.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 chart indicates that
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
 level of the visitor has
also
Linking Words
 exceeded by
double
Replace the word
doubled
show examples
 after it has been renewed. Talking about each category
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
before getting renovated only 15% of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 were very satisfied but
this
Linking Words
 value jumped to 35% after the
museum
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 got
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 look.
Similarly
Linking Words
, satisfied people increased by 10% from 30% to 40%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the dissatisfied
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 reduced by more than 20% from 40% before refurbishment to only 15% after that.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Change noun form
people's
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 positive
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
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 about
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 exceeded by more than double after the
Museum
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed its look.
Submitted by msohaibkhan97 on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • survey results
  • very satisfied
  • improved facilities
  • exhibits
  • attendance
  • comparison
  • increase/decrease
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