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Writing Samples
Band 5

Parents, usually mothers, stay at home to look after their family. People believe they should receive a salary from the government for that. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #mothers #home #people #salary #government
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Nowadays it is claimed that the states ought to pay
money
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 to parents ,especially,
mothers
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, because some individuals are of the opinion that
mothers
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 should stay at home and look after their children
instead
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 of going out to work. Personally,
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due to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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several reasons, I almost agree with
this
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 view and
that is
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 why I believe that the authorities have to divide a special budget for
mothers
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 and their responsibilities.
To begin
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, as I said before, I think that the governments should pay
money
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 to
housewives
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.
First
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The first
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 reason for
this
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, as everyone knows,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 cost of living and some important expenditures have increased in the
last
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 2 decades.
Therefore
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 both parents have to become breadwinners in order to take care of their infants.
As a result
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,
kids
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 are neglected
as well as
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 improperly
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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brought up and perhaps a country’s future is spoiled.
Moreover
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, nobody can deny the role of
mothers
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on
Change preposition
in
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 their children's manners and education. If the states provide economic support to
mothers
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, they will be able to look after their children.
Housewives
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 may send their
kids
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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various courses
such
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 as wrestling or painting and
thus
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 these
kids
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 will be able to
introduce
Wrong verb form
be introduced
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their
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to their
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 countries all over the world.
On the other hand
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, I disagree that
housewives
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 are provided with
money
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 support
,
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apply
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 because I suppose that the budget of the country is not inexhaustible. They have critical responsibilities on not only those who are unemployed females
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 orphans and people who are pensioners.
Furthermore
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, they can choose
kids
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 that they want to educate and bring up them carefully. In conclusion, I concur with the idea that the authorities ought to pay
money
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 to
housewives
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while
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 they take into consideration a country’s budget.
Submitted by ismayilovemin530 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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