IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph gives data about people who asks to gain information at the tourist offices from January to June in UK.

The line graph gives data about people who asks to gain information at the tourist offices from January to June in UK.
#line #data #people #gain #information #tourist #offices #january #june #uk
The line graph gives data about
people
 who
asks
Change the verb form
ask
show examples
 to gain information at the tourist offices from January to
June
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Overall
, the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
 and asked personally to gain information about
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 increased more compared to those who asked by email or letter. It is clear from the graph that the number of
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 who used
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
 declined
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
january
Change the capitalization
January
show examples
 to February from 900-800,
then
 dramatically increased
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1000. From March to April there was no change.
While
 from April to
June
 significantly increased and
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 to peak
1600
Change preposition
of 1600
show examples
.
In addition
, the number of
people
 who asked in person doubled from January to March.
Further
, from April to
June
inceased
Correct your spelling
increased
 by triple and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1800. In spite, the
people
 who
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
 or contacted by email address reduced
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a small portion from
january-March
Correct your spelling
January to March
,
then
 it started to decline incredibly nearly by half from 700-
400
Change preposition
to 400
show examples
. From
June
 to
may
Capitalize the word
May
show examples
 unchanged.
Submitted by bashdar981 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, june with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: