IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.

The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #kilometers #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table chart illustrates
date
Correct article usage
the date
show examples
 of the
undergraound
Correct your spelling
underground
 railway systems in
London
Use synonyms
,
Paris
Use synonyms
, Tokyo, Washington DC,
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 and Las
Angeles
Use synonyms
 with the
number
Use synonyms
 of opened,
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of the
route
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of passenger year in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 was
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
 opened and
then
Linking Words
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 was opened
lastly
Linking Words
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of Kilometres of
Use synonyms
route
Add an article
the route
a route
show examples
 can be seen
Use synonyms
paris
Change the capitalization
Paris
show examples
 is most
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
while
Linking Words
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 is very lowest than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 five countries.
Also
Linking Words
, the amount of Passengers per year are
Paris
Use synonyms
 and Tokyo
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
highly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
compared to
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 and
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 which are very
lowest
Correct word choice
low
show examples
.
Correct article usage
The Railyway
show examples
Railyway
Correct your spelling
Railway
 system was started
firtly
Correct your spelling
first
 from
London
Use synonyms
 in 1863
while
Linking Words
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 was opened very
lately
Change the word
late
show examples
, in 2001.
London
Use synonyms
, the kilometres of
Use synonyms
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 are very high 294 and the lowest the
number
Use synonyms
 of kilometres of
Use synonyms
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 is
Kyoto
Use synonyms
, just 11. Passengers who use the railway,
significant
Add an article
the significant
show examples
 highest country is Tokyo (1927
million
Use synonyms
) and the second highest country is
Paris
Use synonyms
, which is 1191
million
Use synonyms
. But,
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
condsiderly
Correct your spelling
considering
 about 45
million
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 is a little
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 which is
50million
Correct your spelling
50 million
.
Submitted by lssbb3393 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, paris, kyoto, angeles, number, route, los, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: