The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.

The table shows data about the underground railway systems in six major cities with the date opened, kilometers of the route, and passenger numbers per year in millions.
The table chart illustrates
date
Correct article usage
the date
show examples
of the
undergraound
Correct your spelling
underground
railway systems in
London
,
Paris
, Tokyo, Washington DC,
Kyoto
and Las
Angeles
with the
number
of opened,
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
of the
route
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
number
of passenger year in millions.
Overall
,
London
was
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
opened and
then
Los
Angeles
was opened
lastly
. The
number
of Kilometres of
route
Add an article
the route
a route
show examples
can be seen
paris
Change the capitalization
Paris
show examples
is most
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
while
Kyoto
is very lowest than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
five countries.
Also
, the amount of Passengers per year are
Paris
and Tokyo
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
highly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
compared to
Kyoto
and
Los
Angeles
which are very
lowest
Correct word choice
low
show examples
.
Correct article usage
The Railyway
show examples
Railyway
Correct your spelling
Railway
system was started
firtly
Correct your spelling
first
from
London
in 1863
while
Los
Angeles
was opened very
lately
Change the word
late
show examples
, in 2001.
London
, the kilometres of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
are very high 294 and the lowest the
number
of kilometres of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
is
Kyoto
, just 11. Passengers who use the railway,
significant
Add an article
the significant
show examples
highest country is Tokyo (1927
million
) and the second highest country is
Paris
, which is 1191
million
. But,
Kyoto
is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
condsiderly
Correct your spelling
considering
about 45
million
, and
then
Los
Angeles
is a little
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
than
Kyoto
which is
50million
Correct your spelling
50 million
.
Submitted by lssbb3393 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, paris, kyoto, angeles, number, route, los, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: