IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

many manufactured food and drink products contain highlevel of sugar which causes many health problems sugar products should be made of more expansive peoples to consume less sugar.do you agree or disagree

#food #drink #products #highlevel #sugar #health #peoples
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For an introduction, Nowadays, prepacked foodstuff is causing severe health issues. The task statement notes that the price of
sugar
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 items is to be increased to minimize consumption because of well-being issues ,which are coming through precooked meals and drinks, which have high
sugar
Use synonyms
 levels in them.I believe there is truth in the observation and as required,
this
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the reasons before presenting an appropriate conclusion. Examining closely, nowadays every business which manufacturing food
products
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 uses
sugar
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 as an ingredient for tasting and to get high profits which leads to well-being problems
For example
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
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moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 it has become a habit that present-day everyone started eating outside foods which include artificial ingredients, added
sugar
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, fat,fibre,nutrients so on.. which affects the body to feel sick.
For example
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,
Meanwhile
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,Meanwhile
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 beverages or soft drinks are similar to foodstuff
products
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 including artificial flavours with plenty of
sugar
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 to taste good which degrades health a lot.
Furthermore
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 ,the cost of each item is much less compared to other edible
products
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 for high sales and large-scale profits. so each and every product that includes
sugar
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 or bi-
products
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 of
sugar
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 is expensive which makes people discourage the consumption of
such
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products
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. Adding to it, for ,instance have a cousin , Who likes chocolate madly.
For example
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, When he was in childhood ,he used to eat a lot, which made his teeth decay so now he has some dentures fixed . ,
,
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apply
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Likewise
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,Likewise
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 to avoid
such
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 health hazards we need to avoid sugary items.
To conclude
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, Based on the foregoing discussions,
this
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 essay is hereby concluded in support of the prompt in full concurrence with the task statement.
Submitted by virdidaman7068 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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