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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

9.Some parents believe that children today spend too much time looking at screens. Others argue that this is necessary in the modern world. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #time #screens #world
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In recent times,
kids
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 have invested most of their time playing with mobile
phones
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 and some
parents
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 are uncomfortable with
this
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 idea. Some others believe that mobile phone is beneficial in
this
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 era. The primary reason why most
parents
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 are worried is if their
kids
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 are being used to accessing
the
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apply
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mobile
phones
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is
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the impact of long screen time will postpone the
kids
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' brain development. On top of that, the children might not be socially active because they already find pleasure in mobile
phones
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, so they are not really attracted to joining the game with another kid.
Moreover
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,
this
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 concern will grow eventually and
parents
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 are scared that their
kids
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 tend to be more quiet in social groups.
On the contrary
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, there are a lot of benefits
by
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to
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 getting used to the mobile phone. A mobile phone is like holding all advanced
technology
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 in your hand. People that used to holding
phones
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 since
kids
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 may have several skills that might be useful in the workplace.
Furthermore
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, these
kids
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 may be
a
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apply
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tech-savvy and can develop several software that can be very crucial in future. One reason behind
this
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 is the
kids
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 are curious about
technology
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 and they want to be the ones in charge of developing
technology
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 inventions. The children
also
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 can access the outside world and new pieces of knowledge that may never be taught in school. In conclusion, the advantages of having a large amount of timescreen outweigh the disadvantages. Even so, the
parents
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 have a compulsory job to give more attention to the
kids
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' access to
technology
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 and the internet.
Submitted by matcha on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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