IELTS Writing Correction Service /
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Band 6

Many parents think they should be friends with their children on social networks. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #friends #children #networks
It has always been argued that nowadays mothers and fathers consider that they ought to be mates with their offspring on social sites. I partially agree with
this
 given statement and
this
 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, why do
parents
 believe they should be friends with their
children
 on social networks?
This
 is because they can save them from depression. In
this
 contemporary era, students have more pressure to study they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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study in the morning at school after that they join learning sessions on
online
Add an article
the online
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platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 or offline, so they do not have enough to spend with their
parents
 and do not tell their problems to them with
this
 they major issues related to their mind, but if
parents
 communicate with their juveniles as a friend, they could share their joys and sorrows with them and they give suggestion how to solve it. Paradoxically, the fundamental reason behind my disagreement is that no doubt
parents
 need to become friendly with their
children
,
whereas
 it has an adverse impact on
children
's lives. They might indulge in bad company as they will not have fear of their mom and dad.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in America 65% of
parents
 live with their
children
 like peers.
Consequently
, they do wrong things in their life
such
 as they had addicted to drugs, alcohol and maybe more because they are not afraid of them.
Therefore
,
parents
 must strictly behave with their
children
.
To conclude
,
although
 it is a little bit of a good method for
children
, in the future it will have a bad effect on
children
's well-being and development.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital communication
  • parental oversight
  • cyberbullying
  • inappropriate content
  • proliferation
  • open communication
  • stronger family bonds
  • breach of privacy
  • online safety
  • boundaries
  • positive influence
  • responsible interaction
  • meaningful interaction
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