Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

Nowadays, when society is developed, more and more

people

believe they deserve to get more benefits like spending free

time

going to shopping centres. In

this

essay, I will discuss about pros and cons of

this

problem.

Firstly

, shopping centres and supermarkets are places where

people

can use their

money

to buy goods, which

also

brings them better feelings like reducing stress.

Moreover

, it is a method that helps develop the economic background of the country. Teenagers will spend their

time

shopping

instead

of doing organized activities like sports or music, it just might they do not want to do them.

On the other hand

, going shopping can be harmful for teenagers when they have not earned

money

, which means their

money

almost come from their parent.

This

is a negative point because young

people

are not aware of how difficult to earn

money

In addition

, if they spend too much

time

going to the shopping centre, they will skip work have to finish.

That is

a big problem. In conclusion, young

people

spending their leisure

time

at shopping centres has both positive and negative. Positive things will be more when they know how to use

money

and manage

time

Submitted by hoaan2409 on Fri Sep 01 2023

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Task Achievement

Your essay contains some relevant points, but it lacks clear organization and development. You need to work on presenting a well-structured response with a clear position and developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay lacks clear organization and coherence. Make sure to use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. Also, ensure that your ideas are presented in a logical order.

Lexical Resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of lexical resources. Consider using more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas effectively.

Grammatical Range

Focus on improving your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence construction to enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

201 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

required
unpaid
community work
benefit
teenagers
life skills
volunteering
empathy
compassion
socially aware
responsible
interact
diverse backgrounds
cultural understanding
tolerance
work experience
essential skills
employment
interests
passions
career development
contribute
betterment
development
local community
mental well-being
stress
self-esteem
burden
academic
personal lives
time management
support
balance
participate
encouraged
numerous benefits
individuals
conclusion

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belive it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

an increasing number of people choose to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people want to change the way they look? And Is it a positive or negative development?