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Band 4.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food
Nowadays the vast majority of imported consignments in every customs
are belonging
Wrong verb form
belong
show examples
 to
food
, which is imported by different transportation to the countries. Based on statistical numbers it seems that
people
 tend to use imported
food
 rather than local. There could be several reasons for
people
 to use imported
food
instead
 of local
food
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 thing
first
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in every meal is the taste of it for
people
. It is obvious,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
different vegetables, fruit, and meat from different climates and areas do not have (have not) the same smells and tastes. It is evident that some
food
 from another area will have
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 quality
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
food
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produced locally.
Next,
the most motivation for
people
 to buy imported
food
 is the
price
.
1It
Correct your spelling
1 It
 is
vivid
Correct word choice
clear
show examples
 that the lower
price
 of imported
food
 is quite challenging for indigenous
farmers
 and their products.
For instance
, the quality and
price
 of European wheat are much better than African. These two reasons are quite enough for consumers, to use imported
food
.
Farmers
 have different perspectives about imported
food
. They strongly believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 must be strong support from the government to produce
food
 of
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
appropriate quality at in competitive
price
. Consumers and
farmers
 all agree that it is essential to receive
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides.
2Government
Correct your spelling
2 government
 has a crucial role
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
announce
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
 what is the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of using local
food
. As an illustration, it can talk about how many jobs are involved in the local manufactory. Local Radio and Television have
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
an important role
to announce
Change preposition
in announcing
show examples
people
 by creating some creative challenging competitive games about local
food
 versus imported
food
.
3In
Correct your spelling
3 In
 a nutshell, it is essential to allocate some annual subsidies from the government to the
farmers
 and consumers to produce and buy local foods.
Submitted by ghsa1214 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main idea and that the progression of ideas is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Clarify the reasons why people choose imported food and provide more comprehensive examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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