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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence
In today's age and time, it is imperative for
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 to strike an equilibrium in work and personal lives. Some people are of the opinion that extra money earned by adults is advantageous to siblings
while
 others are opposed to it.
This
 essay shall discuss both sides of the issue,
however
, I side with the latter view. With an increase in
Correct article usage
the affordation
show examples
affordation
Correct your spelling
information
affirmation
 cost of housing and basic amenities over the past few years, it is vital to understand that both parents should earn to provide their
children
 with a better lifestyle. To commence with, some extra income would result in savings which can later
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
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benefit the child in a number of ways.
For instance
,
Correct article usage
the fathers
show examples
fathers
Change noun form
father's
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 income can be utilised to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the daily expenses
while
 on the
contarary
Correct your spelling
contrary
, the second half can be deposited in a savings account. The fact that
children
 require their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
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 support in
teenage
Correct pronoun usage
their teenage
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 years can not be overlooked. What's more,
parent's
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parents
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 generally leave their siblings in
child care
Correct your spelling
childcare
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 centres which can hamper their upbringing in a number of ways. Many
children
, whose
parent's
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parents
show examples
 are employed, feel abandoned and unloved. There have been many instances where
such
children
 have been exploited.
In addition
, these kids may act out in an attempt to get their
parent
's attention.
For example
, they may bully others, get into fights or perform poorly at school. The busier the
parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 become, the more abandoned a child feels.
To conclude
,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 both adults should go out to work or not remains a highly contentious topic with arguments in favour and against it. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in a number
ways
Change preposition
of ways
show examples
.
Submitted by harshveermangat141 on

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