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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealth parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #wealth #parents
Children
 are brought up in two different types of
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. The first one is families that do not have large amounts of money and the other is wealthy families. There are some
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about which one
children
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 better prepared to deal with the problems of adult
life
. I personally agree that
children
 who
brought
Add a missing verb
are brought
show examples
 up in families that do not have large amounts of money
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
 better prepared for the future. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I agree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement.
Firstly
, based on my experience, I found some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 of people that raised in
average
Correct article usage
an average
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 economy family
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more successful because they usually work harder for what they want to achieve. They tend to be more persistent because their desire to change their
life
 better is
bigger
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
 than the
children
 who
raised
Add a missing verb
are raised
show examples
 in wealthy
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
this
 type
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 usually experienced
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how hard
life
 is and how to handle it. So when they
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 a
problem
, they tend to be calm and can think clearly to solve the
problem
.
Nevertheless
, it does not mean that the other types of
children
 can not do the same. Some of
children
Add an article
the children
show examples
 who
raise
Wrong verb form
are raised
show examples
 in wealthy
family are
Wrong verb form
families
show examples
also
 can solve their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in adult
life
.
Finally
,
although
 some of my experienced show a positive trend about how
children
 who raised
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 economy family handle the
problem
, the opposite one
is
Change the verb form
also has
show examples
also
 have some positive side. In conclusion, I believe most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
 who
brought
Add a missing verb
are brought
show examples
 up in
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 that do not have large amounts of money
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
 better prepared for their future and to deal with the problems of adult
life
. It would be more complete if their parents
also
 raised them with a great way to conquer the world.
Submitted by hafizahnazir on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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