Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealth parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #wealth #parents

Children

are brought up in two different types of

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. The first one is families that do not have large amounts of money and the other is wealthy families. There are some

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

about which one

children

has

Verb problem

show examples

better prepared to deal with the problems of adult

life

. I personally agree that

children

who

brought

Add a missing verb

are brought

show examples

up in families that do not have large amounts of money

has

Verb problem

are

show examples

better prepared for the future. In

this

essay, I will explain why I agree

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

statement.

Firstly

, based on my experience, I found some

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

of people that raised in

average

Correct article usage

an average

show examples

economy family

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

more successful because they usually work harder for what they want to achieve. They tend to be more persistent because their desire to change their

life

better is

bigger

Correct word choice

greater

show examples

than the

children

who

raised

Add a missing verb

are raised

show examples

in wealthy

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Furthermore

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

this

type

have been

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

usually experienced

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how hard

life

is and how to handle it. So when they

faced

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

problem

, they tend to be calm and can think clearly to solve the

problem

Nevertheless

, it does not mean that the other types of

children

can not do the same. Some of

children

Add an article

the children

show examples

who

raise

Wrong verb form

are raised

show examples

in wealthy

family are

Wrong verb form

families

show examples

also

can solve their

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

in adult

life

Finally

although

some of my experienced show a positive trend about how

children

who raised

Change preposition

apply

show examples

average

Correct article usage

an average

show examples

economy family handle the

problem

, the opposite one

Change the verb form

also has

show examples

also

have some positive side. In conclusion, I believe most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

who

brought

Add a missing verb

are brought

show examples

up in

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

that do not have large amounts of money

has

Verb problem

are

show examples

better prepared for their future and to deal with the problems of adult

life

. It would be more complete if their parents

also

raised them with a great way to conquer the world.

Submitted by hafizahnazir on Sat Sep 02 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealth parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country, while some people think there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than economic progress?

Some people think companies should employ old people to work as they have a lot of working experience. Others, however, think it is better to recruit young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A faction of people hold(?) the notion that employment in(?) not necessary if there is a stable income. I totally agree with this opinion as ample reasons to substantiate it. This essay will explain my view with relevant illustrations.