Engaging with leisure activities with juvenile might improv their capacity more compare to the reading. I strongly agree for this concept because it impact to the social and physical well being. This essay will elaborate profoundly to justify my opinion.
To begin
with, physical wellbeing
is one key consideration, which is able to Correct your spelling
well-being
gain
by engaging Wrong verb form
be gained
with
practical sessions. If played with teens, which would enhance physical functions, that leads to burn extra calories and Change preposition
in
loose
weight. Correct your spelling
lose
In addition
, using intelligence when playing might develop their cognitive function as well. However
, youngsters, who obligated
Add a missing verb
are obligated
with reading
Change preposition
to read
for
Change preposition
in
long
run could Correct article usage
the long
be grown
linguistic ability only. Wrong verb form
grow
For instance
, when I was psychiatric
nurse, I Correct article usage
a psychiatric
analized
that children who fond of reading were not Correct your spelling
realised
much
healthy and intelligent Rephrase
as
than
, Change preposition
as
who
were participated Correct pronoun usage
those who
to
Change preposition
in
the
enormous activities in the psychiatric hospital. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, we tend to deploy more teen
into Fix the agreement mistake
teens
the
outdoor sports rather than reading.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, being obligated with
numerous sports Change preposition
to
such
as volley ball
, cricket provides themCorrect your spelling
volleyball
a
Add the preposition
with a
previledge
to Correct your spelling
privilege
work
in a team to achieve the same goal, which is Wrong verb form
working
tought
better practical lesion Correct your spelling
taught
thought
such
as, admire
Wrong verb form
admiring
eachother
, Correct your spelling
each other
team
responsibility, which Correct word choice
and team
are
really vital to Change the verb form
is
survive
in the society, Change the verb form
surviving
in contrast
to the reading. For example
, more charity workers were inclined in
Change preposition
to
tam
sports in their childhood Correct your spelling
team
being
before enter to Unnecessary verb
apply
the
social service because they feel others and they have Correct article usage
apply
been
developed their critical thinking than, Unnecessary verb
apply
who
are paid their attention only Correct pronoun usage
those who
on
studies.Change preposition
to
as
a result, connecting more functions may influence Capitalize word
As
to
hoist many skills than reading.
Fix the infinitive
apply
To conclude
, according to
the above clarifications, it is paramount to engage with
joyful activities as it Change preposition
in
positive
development for Add an article
a positive
new
generation Correct article usage
the new
such
as,
soaring social bonding and Remove the comma
apply
increase
healthy Wrong verb form
increased
life style
. Though, I guess that Correct your spelling
lifestyle
funful
activities are Correct your spelling
fun
advantage
for the younger generation than reading.Add an article
an advantage
Submitted by adpremadasa82 on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion