The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
develops, people have diverse options to entertain themselves including online
games
and portable
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Hence
, some individuals
harbor
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harbour
show examples
a belief that the phenomenon may have
Correct article usage
a negetive
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negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
impact on crowds in the society they live in. I am inclined to stand with the proponents. The discussion of
this
issue
as well as
my thoughts will be
highkighted
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highlighted
in the write-up.
Initially
, one of the main
argument
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arguments
show examples
in its favour is that these kinds of
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
are
easily
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easy
show examples
to
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
addicted
.
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to.
show examples
There is a growing tendency
that
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for
show examples
many children and adults nowadays
spend
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to spend
show examples
much time on electronic
games
or portable devices. Considering healthy developments, it may be harmful since players have to keep
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
postures and stare at screens before
games
are over.
Moreover
, it would lead to
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
influences
such
as low scores on tests or mistakes at work when the time
distributuin
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distribution
is not divvied
uo
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up
properly. These indicate that the new trends of amusement indeed bring some
negetive
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negative
effects. At the other end of the spectrum, people would pay less attention to the soundings as their
focuses
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focus
show examples
are
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is
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diverted to
games
. Especially when
teengers
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teenagers
are involved in playing
games
and refuse to
conmmunicate
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communicate
with their parents, it may
resukt
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result
in perceived
theats
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threats
threat
to physical and mental health. As for the grown-ups, when they
islated
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isolate
themselves from the real world, it may destroy their relationships with families and friends.
Base
Wrong verb form
Based
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on
such
compelling evidence, it appears
thet
Correct your spelling
that
these types of amusement are
poisonois
Correct your spelling
poisonous
to
numan
Correct your spelling
human
life.
To sum up
, despite the fact that the increasing
popularuty
Correct your spelling
popularity
of electronic
games
and portable devices can not be avoided, its demerits must not be ignored.
Thus
, it is vital that crowds should seize
personal
Add an article
the personal
show examples
initiative by
self control
Add a hyphen
self-control
show examples
,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
it may trigger some counterproductive outcomes.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental
  • adverse
  • excessive
  • physical and mental health issues
  • dependency
  • hinder
  • social skills development
  • academic performance
  • productivity
  • real-life experiences
  • social interactions
  • addiction
  • gambling
  • harmful behaviors
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