The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

techonology

Correct your spelling

technology

develops, people have diverse options to entertain themselves including online

games

and portable

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

Hence

, some individuals

harbor

Change the spelling

harbour

show examples

a belief that the phenomenon may have

Correct article usage

a negetive

show examples

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

impact on crowds in the society they live in. I am inclined to stand with the proponents. The discussion of

this

issue

as well as

my thoughts will be

highkighted

Correct your spelling

highlighted

in the write-up.

Initially

, one of the main

argument

Fix the agreement mistake

arguments

show examples

in its favour is that these kinds of

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

are

easily

Change the word

easy

show examples

Verb problem

become

show examples

addicted

Change preposition

to.

show examples

There is a growing tendency

that

Change preposition

for

show examples

many children and adults nowadays

spend

Fix the infinitive

to spend

show examples

much time on electronic

games

or portable devices. Considering healthy developments, it may be harmful since players have to keep

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

postures and stare at screens before

games

are over.

Moreover

, it would lead to

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

show examples

influences

such

as low scores on tests or mistakes at work when the time

distributuin

Correct your spelling

distribution

is not divvied

Correct your spelling

properly. These indicate that the new trends of amusement indeed bring some

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

effects. At the other end of the spectrum, people would pay less attention to the soundings as their

focuses

Fix the agreement mistake

focus

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

diverted to

games

. Especially when

teengers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

are involved in playing

games

and refuse to

conmmunicate

Correct your spelling

communicate

with their parents, it may

resukt

Correct your spelling

result

in perceived

theats

Correct your spelling

threats

threat

to physical and mental health. As for the grown-ups, when they

islated

Correct your spelling

isolate

themselves from the real world, it may destroy their relationships with families and friends.

Base

Wrong verb form

Based

show examples

such

compelling evidence, it appears

thet

Correct your spelling

that

these types of amusement are

poisonois

Correct your spelling

poisonous

numan

Correct your spelling

human

life.

To sum up

, despite the fact that the increasing

popularuty

Correct your spelling

popularity

of electronic

games

and portable devices can not be avoided, its demerits must not be ignored.

Thus

, it is vital that crowds should seize

personal

Add an article

the personal

show examples

initiative by

self control

Add a hyphen

self-control

show examples

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

it may trigger some counterproductive outcomes.

Submitted by s99104032 on Sat Sep 02 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries an increasing number of children are overweigh as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to ban selling this kind of food in schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some individuals argue that governments should allocate more funding to railways rather than roads due to the former's higher capacity for transporting goods and passengers. discuss both views

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all student can afford them so some think that university education should be free. Do you agree or disagree?