IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the birth rate in most developing countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over. what affects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? what can be done now to deal with this situation?

#birth #rate #countries #fall #years #third #population #predictions #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the average age of
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 going higher and higher. Scientists oversees that
Correct article usage
the birthrate
show examples
birthrate
Correct your spelling
birth rate
show examples
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 started to decrease in developed
countries
Use synonyms
,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
 2030 they forecasted that about thirty percent of
people
Use synonyms
 in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 nations will be old.
This
Linking Words
happening
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can cause various issues in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 so
Linking Words
also
Correct pronoun usage
there also
show examples
it has
Verb problem
are
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 many ways to
prevent
Correct pronoun usage
itprevent
show examples
,
that
Correct word choice
which
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 I will mention in
this
Linking Words
 lecture.
This
Linking Words
 happening mentioned above has major effects on
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
pioneer societies that we can speak about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in many aspects.
most
Capitalize word
Most
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 mentionable is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
personals
Replace the word
personnel
show examples
 to
works
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in factories and cities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 visible change in production cost
also
Linking Words
 cost of living .
Researches
Fix the agreement mistake
Research
show examples
 shows that when
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of your population
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 over 65 we have to have fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 workable
people
Use synonyms
 or more, due
the
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to the
show examples
 fact that
this
Linking Words
 percentage
is not access
Change the verb form
is not accessed
is not accessing
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 able because of children,
disables
Wrong verb form
disabled
show examples
, and so.spite that fact we should search for ways to handle it. In my opinion it is many answers to how to pass that situation?
most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
 reasonable one is to encourage young couples to
born
Verb problem
give birth to
show examples
 many children
this
Linking Words
 can have a great change in
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
 rate indicator and it can be done with different encouragements like free education, born rests, and governmental loans.
Latest
Correct article usage
The latest
show examples
 pool in Germany from young couples identifies that governmental loans
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the strongest equipment for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 to get rid of
this
Linking Words
 tough time and help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to be productive. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 rising average age of the community is a big change in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 that can effects
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many aspects of their
nations
Replace the word
national
show examples
 life
due to
Linking Words
 we have the answer
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 how to prevent
falling
Correct article usage
a falling
show examples
 birth rate
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature always shows us it can
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
show examples
 the environment to keep all communities from ants to elephants in
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 shape.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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