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Writing Samples
Band 6

Females are better student than males. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#females #student #males
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There are many beliefs that female is better than male when it comes to studying,
while
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 other think the opposite. In the writer's opinion, female students are more successful in studying than
males
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 because of their haute
discipline
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. It must be understood that
females
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 are more self-aware of their abilities.
This
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 is
due to
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females
Use synonyms
 fully comprehending their strengths and weaknesses.
As a result
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,
females
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 develop and make the most of their potential to achieve success, simultaneously, they fix and improve their weaknesses through learning progress. From the writer's experience, female students tend to have the best scores at school because of self-awareness and the ability to learn from mistakes.
Thus
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,
females
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 are self-aware and improve to become a better version.
However
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, there are some people who argue that most prominent world figures are men. To put it plainly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male can develop their talent in one specific area and use all their concentration
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 a passion for that field, especially research and analysis subjects.
Hence
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,
males
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 may perceived as leaders and quite successful in one field.
This
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 point may be true but
males
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 just spend their focus on a specific subject
while
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females
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 concentrate on all fields equally. From the writer's perspective,
females
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 really appreciate
discipline
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 in work and study. To explain in
further
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 detail,
females
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 can control themself from procrastinating and manage time effectively.
In other words
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, they prioritise their studies above distractions and push themself to a high level of
discipline
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 to achieve goals.
For example
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, a female student who has a part-time job after school still maintains a high GPA because of her
discipline
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 at work and strictness with herself.
Therefore
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, the ability to
discipline
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 helps female success. In conclusion,
although
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 most
males
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 achieve goals in a specific area,
females
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 have greater success
overall
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 because they are self-aware of their abilities and have disciplined habits at work.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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