Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays many
people
are not in a perfect physical
sittuion
Correct your spelling
situation
due to
using technology and
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
in their houses more than before. There are so many things in individuals modern
life
that are causing
this
problem and we are going to talk about them in
this
essay. In my opinion, the most important thing
that is
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
is that most of them have lots of things to do and almost nobody has enough time to exercise and do some
health
care
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
they should do a lot to keep their job safe and make enough money for their families.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
many jobs are online and
in house
Add a hyphen
in-house
show examples
jobs in modern society,
this
means that
people
are living their
life
behind a computer screen and
siting
Correct your spelling
sitting
show examples
in a chair
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day can cause many
health
problems,
such
as getting fat or getting backaches or different
illneses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
illness
. But there are many ways to solve
this
problem,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first place
indivisuals shoud
Correct your spelling
individuals should
care
about their
their
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
own mental and physical
health
,
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
they can eat healthy foods
such
as vegetables and milk and they
also
can make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time for exercising in their
day
Replace the word
daily
show examples
life
.
To begin
,
govermants
Correct your spelling
governments
government
should
also
care
about their
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
health
, they can try to make television shows about
selfcare
Correct your spelling
self-care
self care
and start building gyms in every city, they
also
can sell cheap healthy foods in the restaurants and markets to make
people
eat good food. It is true that
people
are less
fir
Correct your spelling
fit
show examples
nowadays than before and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
because of the busy
life
that they have and because of the usage of technology
such
as websites and applications and different games. But they can solve
this
problem if they
realy
Correct your spelling
really
care
about their future
life
, it is
realy
Correct your spelling
really
important to have a healthy
life
and exercise enough to stay fresh.
Submitted by shima.majidansari on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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