The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The following essay discusses that
people
who live in the
countryside
should move to the
city
because it is one of the best ways
for solving
Change preposition
to solve
show examples
transportation
problems. I completely disagree with
this
statement because
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
live in the
cities
travel a lot, too. And that means they
also
can cause different kinds of
traffic
problems. And moving all the citizens of
Add an article
the suburbian
show examples
suburbian
Correct your spelling
suburban
show examples
area seems an irrational idea to me because in
this
case, more
people
will live in the
cities
and even more
people
will cause
traffic
jams
and they will experience even more
transportation
problems. First and foremost, I do not agree with the idea of moving all the
people
to the
city
because I think that the
cities
would be overpopulated.
Therefore
, everyone will suffer from public
tansportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
issues and the amount of
traffic
jams
will increase dramatically, too. As an example, now
people
who live in the
cities
daily
Rephrase
apply
show examples
spend
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
hours in order to
arrive to
Verb problem
get
show examples
their job and so on. But after moving
people
to the
cities
this
amount of time will at least double.
Secondly
, everyone in the
city
uses lots of
transportation
, too. In my opinion,
people
who live in the
countryside
travel to the
city
or use public transport way less.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
means that citizens of the
city
should move to the
countryside
more. In
this
case, way
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
would travel in the
city
itself.
Therefore
,
traffic
jams
and public
transportation
issues will occur less.
To sum up
, I think that encouraging
people
from the
suburbian
Correct your spelling
suburban
show examples
area to move to the
cities
will worsen the situation.
However
, if
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
fraction of
people
who live in the
cities
would move to the
countryside
, way
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
traffic
jams
would occur.
Submitted by Ayan on

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task response
The response should clearly address the task by presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. It is important to consider both sides of the argument and provide a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the logical structure of the essay needs improvement. The ideas are not always presented in a clear and cohesive manner. It is important to use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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