Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals believe that youngsters ought to spend free generation with families
instead
of outdoor activities but others disagree about this
. In my opinion, I believe children should spend more point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
in
outdoor entertainment but spending term with their clans is Change preposition
on
also
a vital thing for them and I will elaborate on it in this
essay.
On the one hand, many juveniles go to schools, and after their academy, they spend the most time
in their home so that they can learn about polite acting and some social relationships. For example
, many parents do not have time
to care for their offspring because they have to go to work. As a result
, some groups' grandparents take care of scions so they can teach them experiences and also
can tell them fairy tales which affect children’s mental development. In addition
, they can learn about communication skills, which leads to meeting other folks easily. For
this
reason, adolescents ought to spend free time
with their families because it is beneficial for them.
On the other hand
, youngsters should spend their free hours more outside entertainment. The majority of young nations go to educational institutions and meet numerous friends who play games and communicate with each other. For instance
, some studies show that if young communities spend more time
on outdoor pursuits, they will have strong independence and also
can learn social relationship skills. Moreover
, they can make their
memories with their mates which will Correct pronoun usage
apply
last
forever their lives. Therefore
, outdoor activities are also
a crucial thing for them.
In conclusion, spending era with families is an essential thing, however
, spending age with outdoor sports is also
a vital thing. So, we must teach them to use date balance, and that will be good not only for clans but also
for their offspring.Submitted by livewire53 on
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Vocabulary and Grammar
Try to use a range of vocabulary accurately to express your ideas more precisely and vary your sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic flexibility.
Coherence
Organize your ideas more logically, ensuring that there is a clear progression throughout the essay. This will help improve the overall coherence.
Task Response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on your reasons and examples to fully develop your argument.
Task Completion
You have successfully discussed both viewpoints as the prompt requested, showing an understanding of the task.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion succinctly present your main ideas and opinion, providing a clear structure to your essay.