IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

•In many places, prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain. Yet, when offenders are released, they end up back in prison a short while later. Do prisons work? Should law-breakers be rehabilitated or punished?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A debate about the effectiveness of approaches to prisoners either imprisonment or
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
 has been prevalent in society.
While
Linking Words
 the budget and high rates of turnover among
criminals
Use synonyms
 cast some doubt on the sending-offenders-to-
prison
Use synonyms
 method, it still partly plays an essential role in the legal system.
This
Linking Words
 essay will prove why
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
 with appropriate punishment is the best way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue. Sending
criminals
Use synonyms
 to
prison
Use synonyms
 will raise awareness of their desire for freedom and return to society.
While
Linking Words
 living in
prison
Use synonyms
,
criminals
Use synonyms
 might feel isolated from the rest of the world, and the fear of being separated from their loved ones fosters their effort to return to the community.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 would help them avoid committing crimes and contribute dramatically to social events and other charity work.
For example
Linking Words
, many prisons established industries
such
Linking Words
 as manufacturing goods or clothes where prisoners can work voluntarily, which donates to someone in need.
However
Linking Words
, if the long-term imprisonment continues, prisoners might lack social skills and lifelong learning experiences, which could exacerbate their chances of engaging in a sense of community.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
rehabilitation
Use synonyms
 focuses purely on addressing the root causes and provides offenders with the necessary academic or soft skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are several rehabilitating programs
such
Linking Words
 as education, vocational training, and even university online courses that supply healthier coping mechanisms for the problems and support abuse treatment in which offenders live a normal life without any guilt. Owing to
this
Linking Words
 reason, it is more cost-effective compared to a bunch of investments in different aspects of a
prison
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as living spaces, food supplies, and medicines for illness.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 having
criminals
Use synonyms
 rehabilitated will never be replaced by the means of ending up in long-term
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences. To summarize,
while
Linking Words
 sending lawbreakers to
prison
Use synonyms
 is an efficient approach to the intensity of the crime causing harm to society, it
also
Linking Words
 has some limitations and potential negative impacts.
Rehabilitation
Use synonyms
 with suitable punishments would be among the most well-qualified methods to handle the underlying causes of the issue.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall, the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task. The arguments are relevant and well-supported, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally well-maintained, guiding the reader through the introduction, body, and conclusion effectively. However, there are some areas where the coherence could be further improved through more effective transitions and linkages between ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: