Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates results in low art education.

#university #fees #employment #prospects #graduates #results #art #education

In parallel to the economic crisis in the world, charges of any field have increased, which affects the economic stability in a lot of countries,

therefore

unemployment has become the main problem in society. The above situation directly affects

art

graduates

and

this

leads to a reduction in the tendency of

art

graduation.

Firstly

, when compared to the number of students in a university in science streams and

art

streams, the highest number of students are in the

art

stream. When these

graduates

come to the job market, there is high competition among the

art

graduates

because of limited employment.

For instance

, even though, the occupation in international relationships is a dream job of most

art

graduates

, only a limited number of

graduates

obtain that opportunity. Because of

this

volatility in

art

graduates

' employment, most of the students aren't willing to move to

art

fields for their upper-grade educations.

Secondly

, related to industrialization, people allocate very limited time for their leisure, so they

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not enough time to spend on indulgences in artistic productions like stage dramas,

art

galleries, musical shows etc... . Because of

this

situation

Add a comma

show examples

art

graduates

face a problem of low demand for their final product ,

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

most employments have substituted for artificial intelligence, and

this

also

leads to unemployment scarcity in the

art

field.

On the other hand

art

is essential for a balanced life

otherwise

there may be high depression in people in the society and it will lead to vulnerable circumstances in society.

Therefore

experts in

art

fields are essential for the world. In conclusion, I am convinced that, If experts in arts fields are limited,

then

they can achieve their target without any scarcity

further

, and they won't consider the high charges for higher education.

Submitted by chiranthiranwala on Sun Sep 03 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

292 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates results in low art education.

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or military. Others think women are less suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it would encourage a higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Countries are becoming more and more similliar because are able to by the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. What are the causes? Suggest possible solutions.