Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Business and cultural
coperation
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cooperation
among nations
had
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has
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been rose dramatically. It is often argued that
this
is a positive development, whilst others disagree and believe it will lead to adverse ramifications.
This
essay agrees that the
growht
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growth
business
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of business
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and cultural contact internationally is
benificial
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beneficial
to
people
, and portrays both sides of
this
argument
along with
my own
prespective
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perspective
. On one side of the
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controversial,
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controversial
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controversy
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there are
people
who argue that it will raise
in
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apply
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cooperation and
cultural
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culture
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when
joint
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joined
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with other foreign countries which can
leads
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lead
show examples
to considerable advantage circumstances. The main reason
fro
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for
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believing
this
is that if certain
company
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companies
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have a partnership with other
aboard
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abroad
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firms, which means that it will enable them to obtain more
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
. To illustrate, when some of them have
increase
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an increase
show examples
in revenue and profit,
so
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apply
show examples
they will have a chance to
accomplished
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accomplish
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and outrace their rivals. Not
those
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only those
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aforementioned factors, but
also
gaining favourable for an
idividual
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individual
in order to acquire new knowledge from cultural diversity.
For instance
, when a labourer from Japan
work
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works
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with
British
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a British
the British
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company, they will have more
flexible
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flexibility
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in time and
lesser
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less
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pressure of
job
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a job
show examples
from a
superviser
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supervisor
.
Therefore
, there are numerous noteworthy
merit
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merits
show examples
of it which both entrepreneurs and
employeers
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employees
employers
might
benefits
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benefit
show examples
from.
On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to make opposing
case
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cases
show examples
even though those provided advantages in various aspects. It is often argued that
this
may bring detrimental impacts which
influences
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influence
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the
vanish
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vanishing
show examples
of
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a nation
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nation
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nation's
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uniqueness.
People
often have
this
viewpoint because cooperating with other working
culture
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cultures
show examples
may
results
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result
show examples
in cultural assimilation.
For example
, when two different
personnels
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personnel
works
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work
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together
which
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it
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may
leads
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lead
show examples
to
mixing
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a mixing
show examples
in
culture
results
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resulting
show examples
in confusion. Despite
this
, human interaction is still manageable through the working atmosphere, and
this
essay disagrees that cooperating internationally will cause one
dissapearing
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disappearing
of
their roots
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the culture of their roots
show examples
culture
. In conclusion, I strongly believe neither argument demonstrates the drawbacks entirely.
While
,
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apply
show examples
joining with international company allow business to
success
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succeed
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and enhance, some still feel that
people
should be wary of
this
new phenomenon which
people
may
loss
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lose
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their
culture
.
However
, as long as we carefully consider the
impaortance
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importance
of our home
culture
,
benefits
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the benefits
show examples
of it are clearly positive.
Submitted by Amp on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points need to be supported more effectively in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You have provided a fairly complete response with some relevant ideas, but the clarity and relevance of these ideas need improvement. Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • economic growth
  • cultural homogenization
  • national identity
  • cultural diversity
  • international trade
  • investment opportunities
  • tolerance
  • cultural preservation
  • traditional values
  • global influence
  • cultural dilution
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