Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Business and cultural
coperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
among nations
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
been rose dramatically. It is often argued that
this
is a positive development, whilst others disagree and believe it will lead to adverse ramifications.
This
essay agrees that the
growht
Correct your spelling
growth
business
Change preposition
of business
show examples
and cultural contact internationally is
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to
people
, and portrays both sides of
this
argument
along with
my own
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
. On one side of the
Add a comma
controversial,
show examples
controversial
Replace the word
controversy
show examples
there are
people
who argue that it will raise
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cooperation and
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
when
joint
Correct your spelling
joined
show examples
with other foreign countries which can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to considerable advantage circumstances. The main reason
fro
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
believing
this
is that if certain
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
have a partnership with other
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
firms, which means that it will enable them to obtain more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. To illustrate, when some of them have
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in revenue and profit,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will have a chance to
accomplished
Wrong verb form
accomplish
show examples
and outrace their rivals. Not
those
Rephrase
only those
show examples
aforementioned factors, but
also
gaining favourable for an
idividual
Correct your spelling
individual
in order to acquire new knowledge from cultural diversity.
For instance
, when a labourer from Japan
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
with
British
Add an article
a British
the British
show examples
company, they will have more
flexible
Replace the word
flexibility
show examples
in time and
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
pressure of
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
from a
superviser
Correct your spelling
supervisor
.
Therefore
, there are numerous noteworthy
merit
Fix the agreement mistake
merits
show examples
of it which both entrepreneurs and
employeers
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
might
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
from.
On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to make opposing
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
even though those provided advantages in various aspects. It is often argued that
this
may bring detrimental impacts which
influences
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
the
vanish
Replace the word
vanishing
show examples
of
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
uniqueness.
People
often have
this
viewpoint because cooperating with other working
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
may
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in cultural assimilation.
For example
, when two different
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
together
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
mixing
Correct article usage
a mixing
show examples
in
culture
results
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
in confusion. Despite
this
, human interaction is still manageable through the working atmosphere, and
this
essay disagrees that cooperating internationally will cause one
dissapearing
Correct your spelling
disappearing
of
their roots
Change to a genitive case
the culture of their roots
show examples
culture
. In conclusion, I strongly believe neither argument demonstrates the drawbacks entirely.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
joining with international company allow business to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
and enhance, some still feel that
people
should be wary of
this
new phenomenon which
people
may
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their
culture
.
However
, as long as we carefully consider the
impaortance
Correct your spelling
importance
of our home
culture
,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of it are clearly positive.
Submitted by Amp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points need to be supported more effectively in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You have provided a fairly complete response with some relevant ideas, but the clarity and relevance of these ideas need improvement. Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • economic growth
  • cultural homogenization
  • national identity
  • cultural diversity
  • international trade
  • investment opportunities
  • tolerance
  • cultural preservation
  • traditional values
  • global influence
  • cultural dilution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: