IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#friendships #place #people #face
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Friendship
Use synonyms
 is
most
Add an article
the most
a most
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 trustworthy relationship of an individual. It is being argued that
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 which are in-
person
Use synonyms
 are proved more fruitful than online ones. I personally
postulate
Verb problem
agree
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 with the above statement. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will give reasons to support my opinion.
To begin
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 with, most of the time people only showcase their lucrative lifestyle on the internet to attract
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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,
however
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 , they may just be showing their fake life
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moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
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, by using online means we may not be able to know their behaviour and their true ambitions.
for example
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 , In 2021 , there was a news article published in the
main stream
Correct your spelling
mainstream
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 media which
states
Wrong verb form
stated
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 that
Correct article usage
a honeytrap
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honeytrap
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honeytraps
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made
Add a missing verb
was made
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 by the
pakistani
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Pakistani
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 army under which their female agents
honeytrapped
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honey trapped
honey-trapped
inidan
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Indian
 officials to gather crucial
infomations
Correct your spelling
information
.
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hence
Capitalize word
Hence
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,online
friendship
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 can
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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 be unfavourable for the
person
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. To fortify
further
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, the cases of cybercrime are augmenting with the passing time and online interaction with the people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the major factor fuiling the situation.
Moreover
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, as the
friendship
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 is online they can manipulate the
person
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 to do bad
deed
Fix the agreement mistake
deeds
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 and they can
also
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 never be trased under some circumstances. To elaborate
further
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 ,
according to
Linking Words
 the statistics of 2020-2021 , the
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who are victims of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online fraud are mostly the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 who became
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 through some online site and got fished.
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therefore
Capitalize word
Therefore
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, doing
friendship
Use synonyms
 online is a risky job.
To conclude
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thisk
Correct your spelling
this
, It is clear from the above discussion that doing
friendship
Use synonyms
 online can be awful for
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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.
Therefore
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 , people should more focus on making friends
in-
Correct your spelling
in person
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person
Use synonyms
 with whom they can share their highs and lows.
Submitted by preetjashan2020 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
What to do next:
Look at other essays: