The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two charts illustrate the proportion of spending time in various habits in a specific nation from 1958 to 2008.

Overall

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, a comparison of the two graphs reveals a change in people's daily basis. In 1958, working and sleeping were activities that people did most accounting for 33% and 32% respectively, but during the next 50 years, the population experienced a number of dramatic changes. The most noticeable is that working people decreased to 42%

while

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sleeping decreased to one out of four

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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However

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, the

last

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part was slightly different which in 1958 travelling to work is the lowest aspect at 2% whilst in 2008 goes to other at only 6% which surprisingly

this

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rate was the same as the previous year. Unlike the other behaviours, relaxing at home and travelling to work have a significant rise which reported more than 5 ratio of changes.

Submitted by aulia2207nadila on Sun Sep 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

146 words

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