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Band 7

For many, shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others. People, however, in the past mostly visited those when necessary. To what extent do you think this is a negative trend?

#malls #places #leisure #time #people #trend
People
 have different views on whether it's beneficial that more residents go to supermarkets to entertain themselves and have a date with friends or not.
While
 there are so many drawbacks to
this
 behaviour, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, it would have detrimental impacts that many citizens are crowded in supermarkets.
To begin
 with,
people
 who love to go to big shops would allocate less time to enhance their abilities and they may lack various skills in
this
 ever-changing and competitive society.
Furthermore
, the residents would spend fewer hours engaging in the community and decrease the cohesion in the community.
Lastly
, it would exert greater pressure on society.
For example
, with so many
people
 going out, the transportation system would be busy and their workers may be overloaded.
On the other hand
, going to the malls would benefit us a lot.
Firstly
, making acquaintance with some friends may prompt their development
due to
 the fact that it enables
people
 to expand their social circle and cultivates the capacity for conversation.
Secondly
, it would facilitate the growth of the economy,in consequence of the fact that growing numbers of
people
 are willing to purchase merchants in the shops.
Thirdly
 ,with so many consumers choosing to entertain themselves in the supermarket, more job opportunities are offered.
For instance
, the number of guards would be larger to ensure the safety of those citizens who spend time in malls. In conclusion, I understand why
people
 worry about the phenomenon of spending more in shops.But I would argue that the advantages tip the balance.
Submitted by 875489935 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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