In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

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Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Elder
Correct word choice
The elderly
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population are certainly one of the most vulnerable people. As we know, they usually need specific health care and one part of them
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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mostly alone. Another group don’t have enough income to provide
by
Change preposition
apply
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themself
Correct pronoun usage
their
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basic needs.
Firs
Correct your spelling
First
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of all, I truly believe that all humans deserve to live their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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with dignity. Indeed, the crucial point is the wellbeing of the old people. If the
government
Use synonyms
give them some economic
support
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
quality of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, it
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
necessary to establish who can receive governmental help.
Moreover
Linking Words
, built
a parameters
Correct the article-noun agreement
parameters
a parameter
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like monthly income, propriety, and health conditions, that can help to identify who can live in the hospice with governmental
support
Use synonyms
. I think in
this
Linking Words
kind of situation the
government
Use synonyms
have to give them what
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
necessary to live their
life
Use synonyms
with dignity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the other side of the coin
tell
Change the verb form
tells
show examples
us that there are old
persons
Replace the word
people
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who have enough money to spend the
last
Linking Words
part of their time in excellent condition.
However
Linking Words
, they are able to reach high
life
Use synonyms
standard
Change the noun form
standards
show examples
like private care, private nurses and family
support
Use synonyms
. Of course, in
this
Linking Words
condition
Add a comma
,condition
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
can invest public money in
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
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. In conclusion, elders are often experiencing loneliness because their family reside far from or don’t have any family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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. I assume that the
government
Use synonyms
have to take
car
Correct your spelling
care
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of the most vulnerable elders who are not able to buy their medication or food.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
can provide
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
some
Change preposition
with some
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public space
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
support
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
community and facilitate
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Submitted by riccardocbn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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