IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employers who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree.

#countries #jobs #employers
Nowadays the great majority of people support the idea that governments should hire employers from not developed countries,
while
 others tend to consider that it will make the economics worse.
Although
 the
last
 opinion can be right in some cases, I believe that it is better to allow people to work in rich states for many reasons. Let us start by looking at the advantages of recruiting skilled employers. If we start with Katar, it is obvious that workers from various places come in order to make money.
Consequently
, their knowledge
as well as
 experience allows them to manage staff and increase profits. So,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
 Katar is considered one of the most successful countries in the world. Another good example of
this
 system is the USA, where highly skilled workers are valued.
Instead
 of reducing the number of migrants, the government focuses on how they can be useful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can be really beneficial for economics. Another major benefit is cultural exchange.
For instance
, In
Singapore
Add a comma
,Singapore
show examples
 there are a lot of knowledgeable specialists with different backgrounds almost in every organisation.
Due to
 that fact, they have schools, universities, restaurants and public organisations with American, British, Chinese and other national systems of training, education and management.
Moreover
, it is cool to familiarize yourself with the traditions, cuisine, clothes and worldviews of
other land
Change the wording
another land
other lands
show examples
. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that we should focus on how to provide a chance to managers from underdeveloped regions rather than forbid it.
Submitted by aida.ai2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: