The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping sales for retail  sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
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The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the shopping sales consist
four
Change preposition
of four
show examples
sectors. It is an electronic
and
Correct word choice
apply
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appliance, food and beverage, home furnishings and video games. In 2005 the most significant online
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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sector
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
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electronics and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
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and in 2010 the most popular
sector
Use synonyms
was food and beverage.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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minimal changes in
five
Correct determiner usage
a
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years
Correct your spelling
five-year
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period . One of the key changes over
this
Linking Words
decade is the former falling from 25% to fifteen per cent in
sector
Use synonyms
« home furnishings » and the latter rising from 22% to
thirty two
Add a hyphen
thirty-two
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per cent in
sector
Use synonyms
« food and beverage ». The other two sectors
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
had changes.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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electronics and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had a drop with a difference
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, video games increased by five per cent.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sector with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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