the two pie charts illustrate how many online sales for retail sectors in Canada completed in the 2005 and in the 2010.

#two #sales #sectors #canada

the

Capitalize word

The

show examples

two pie charts illustrate how many online sales for retail sectors in Canada

completed

Add a missing verb

were completed

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

2005 and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2010.

Overall

, there are 4 areas that certainly

being competitive

Wrong verb form

compete

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other

Electronics

&Appliance, Food&Beverage,

Home

Furnishings

, Video games Obviously, on the first graph

it is clear that

Correct article usage

show examples

immense amount of people prefer to afford electronic stuff, neither of the rest attractive products

couldn’t

Rephrase

could

show examples

reach 30% at least like the

Electronics

and Appliance.

Furthermore

, in the 2005

graphic

Fix the agreement mistake

graphics

show examples

absolutely

Change the word

absolute

show examples

leader with marvellous sales is

Electronics

Correct article usage

the Electronics

show examples

sector,

despite

Capitalize word

Despite

show examples

these factors Food & Beverage

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

made an astonishing comeback in 2010 and overcame

Electronics

with

Correct article usage

a 2

show examples

per

cents

Change the noun form

cent

show examples

difference.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

there is

also

race

Correct article usage

a race

show examples

between

Home

Furnishings

and Video Games,

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

start

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

Home

Furnishings

with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

difference

Change preposition

of 7

show examples

per

cents

Fix the agreement mistake

cent

show examples

from

Add an article

an outsider

the outsider

show examples

outsider

Fix the agreement mistake

outsiders

show examples

eventually

Add a comma

,eventually

show examples

it came up

difficultly

Change the word

difficult

show examples

for

Home

Furnishings

unexpected

Correct article usage

an unexpected

show examples

downgrade from 25% to 15%. Enormous anarchy for

Home

furnishings

however

excellent opportunity for Video Games.

Consequently

, it’s

“ piece

Correct article usage

a “ piece

show examples

of cake” for

Electronics

sales, they were most sustainable compared to each other. Food&Beverage represented

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

impulsive break of structure with 10 per

cents

Fix the agreement mistake

cent

show examples

of rose.

Other

Correct article usage

The other

show examples

two zones created fluctuations and didn’t

altered

Change the verb form

alter

show examples

mind changing

Submitted by dnm.best on Mon Sep 04 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Contractions: Don't use contractions.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words home, furnishings, electronics with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

200 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the two pie charts illustrate how many online sales for retail sectors in Canada completed in the 2005 and in the 2010.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative develoment?

B.Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems from the internet and do not want to visit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?