Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

At the present
time
, whilst proponents suggest boosting the gymnasium figures
enhance
Fix the infinitive
to enhance
show examples
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
show examples
fitness, opponents claim that doing exercise may cause determinental outputs.
However
, I am of
belief
Add an article
the belief
show examples
that athletic activities are essential to reduce mental and physical diseases. To embark on, agreeing that
excersising
Correct your spelling
exercising
should be part of individuals’ lives, governments should encourage citizens to exercise daily by providing a plethora of
sports
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
in different areas.
In other words
, if authority supplies gardens, gyms, schools and
everyplace
Correct your spelling
every place
show examples
people may visit with treadmills, numerous adults even the
eledelry
Correct your spelling
elderly
will consume
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exercising which can eliminate diseases like obesity and diabetes. What can be said is that expanding the number of
sports
facilities can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
epidemics among people.
On the other hand
, proponents
convinced
Add a missing verb
are convinced
show examples
that doing
sports
may have serious
consequances
Correct your spelling
consequences
, and
this
is
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
the
pressuseres
Correct your spelling
pressures
pressure
individual’s
Change noun form
individuals
show examples
encounter in the 21st century.
In other words
, when students and
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
commute to their working
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
for a long
time
, they come back with other
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
which put them under pressure so they do not find
time
to take care of their health.
For instance
, in the United Arab Emirates, teachers and students return
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from school
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
and rarely can find
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
nearly to their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Thus
, what can be said is that
stick
Replace the word
sticking
show examples
to a gym
progaramme
Correct your spelling
programme
can be one of the reasons that
fill
Correct subject-verb agreement
fills
show examples
the person
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
tensions
Fix the agreement mistake
tension
show examples
. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has shown why many prefer to exercise these days, it can be said that
this
happens mainly for physical and mental reasons. I reiterate my opinion that
this
will be a positive development if governments
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
show examples
the expectations towards citizens and utilize
sports
instruments anywhere.
Submitted by shaimaahamd7 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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