Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures #points

At the present

time

, whilst proponents suggest boosting the gymnasium figures

enhance

Fix the infinitive

to enhance

show examples

communities

Fix the agreement mistake

community

show examples

fitness, opponents claim that doing exercise may cause determinental outputs.

However

, I am of

belief

Add an article

the belief

show examples

that athletic activities are essential to reduce mental and physical diseases. To embark on, agreeing that

excersising

Correct your spelling

exercising

should be part of individuals’ lives, governments should encourage citizens to exercise daily by providing a plethora of

sports

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

in different areas.

In other words

, if authority supplies gardens, gyms, schools and

everyplace

Correct your spelling

every place

show examples

people may visit with treadmills, numerous adults even the

eledelry

Correct your spelling

elderly

will consume

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

exercising which can eliminate diseases like obesity and diabetes. What can be said is that expanding the number of

sports

facilities can

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

epidemics among people.

On the other hand

, proponents

convinced

Add a missing verb

are convinced

show examples

that doing

sports

may have serious

consequances

Correct your spelling

consequences

, and

this

because

Add the preposition

ofbecause

show examples

the

pressuseres

Correct your spelling

pressures

pressure

individual’s

Change noun form

individuals

show examples

encounter in the 21st century.

In other words

, when students and

employess

Correct your spelling

employees

commute to their working

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

for a long

time

, they come back with other

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

which put them under pressure so they do not find

time

to take care of their health.

For instance

, in the United Arab Emirates, teachers and students return

back

Rephrase

apply

show examples

from school

Change preposition

show examples

evening

Correct article usage

the evening

show examples

and rarely can find

gym

Correct article usage

a gym

show examples

nearly to their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

Thus

, what can be said is that

stick

Replace the word

sticking

show examples

to a gym

progaramme

Correct your spelling

programme

can be one of the reasons that

fill

Correct subject-verb agreement

fills

show examples

the person

Change preposition

with

show examples

tensions

Fix the agreement mistake

tension

show examples

. In conclusion,

after

this

essay has shown why many prefer to exercise these days, it can be said that

this

happens mainly for physical and mental reasons. I reiterate my opinion that

this

will be a positive development if governments

raising

Wrong verb form

raise

show examples

the expectations towards citizens and utilize

sports

instruments anywhere.

Submitted by shaimaahamd7 on Mon Sep 04 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?