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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight.Some people say that price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #price #foods
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Nowadays, being overweight is one of the most serious problems globally. Many individuals suggest to have an increment in the
price
Use synonyms
 of fattening food products. I totally disagree with
this
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 notion. Overweight people mostly have a lot of comorbidities
such
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 as heart disease and vascular diseases. A sedentary lifestyle could be one of the contributing factors, an example of
this
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 is office workers who just sit for more than 9 hours and are fond of online food
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
such
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 as pizza, hamburgers and fries. Lack of exercise can
also
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 add up to obesity, as individuals, they have the responsibility to take care of themselves.
Moreover
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, some people in response to their stress or anxiety tend to eat more without having second thoughts which can lead to obesity. Many proposed to increase the
price
Use synonyms
 value of food which is high in fats.
This
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 suggestion may be one of the solutions for the consumer to avoid buying that
foodfood
Correct your spelling
food
 with high-fat content.
In addition
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 to a
price
Use synonyms
 increase, I think the government should take action on
this
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 serious problem in our society. They can educate individuals on how to have a healthy lifestyle through advertisements and talk shows that can foster them to achieve a healthy body and mind. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 overweight is a serious problem, I do believe that increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of products is not the only solution, the government has its role to achieve.
Submitted by edcmng2005 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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