The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

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The line graph illustrates the sale of various types of jam between 2009 and 2014.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is noticeable that the figure for strawberries had the highest number of sales,

while

Linking Words

The plum had the lowest number of sales.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the strawberry, raspberry, grape and cherry increased over the period in question,

while

Linking Words

the plum decreased.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the number of strawberries increased from 3 in 2005 to 5 in 2012, before going up to 7 in the final

years

Use synonyms

being the most sold jam over the period in question.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the raspberry grew gradually from over 2 to 4 in 2011 , before rising to 5 in 2012 and maintaining the same level in the final

years

Use synonyms

. The figure for grapes grew marginally from 0 to over 4 in the final

years

Use synonyms

. With regards to cherry, it was erratic from under 2 , before 2012 when it decreased gradually from 3 to over 2 in the final

years

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the plum fell from under 3 to 0 in the final

years

Use synonyms

and was the lowest sales kind of jam over the period in question

dimash171206Tue Sep 05 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

186 words

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The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

Some people think that the benefit of running a small business is to employ family members. What are the advantages and disadvantages of running a family business?

Many museums charge for admission fee while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh disadvantages.

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in todays world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring ? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.