The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

#show #sale #five #kinds #jam

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The line graph illustrates the sale of various types of jam between 2009 and 2014.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is noticeable that the figure for strawberries had the highest number of sales,

while

Linking Words

The plum had the lowest number of sales.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the strawberry, raspberry, grape and cherry increased over the period in question,

while

Linking Words

the plum decreased.

To begin

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with, the number of strawberries increased from 3 in 2005 to 5 in 2012, before going up to 7 in the final

years

Use synonyms

being the most sold jam over the period in question.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the raspberry grew gradually from over 2 to 4 in 2011 , before rising to 5 in 2012 and maintaining the same level in the final

years

Use synonyms

. The figure for grapes grew marginally from 0 to over 4 in the final

years

Use synonyms

. With regards to cherry, it was erratic from under 2 , before 2012 when it decreased gradually from 3 to over 2 in the final

years

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the plum fell from under 3 to 0 in the final

years

Use synonyms

and was the lowest sales kind of jam over the period in question

Submitted by dimash171206 on Tue Sep 05 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

186 words

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The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extand do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?