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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of diiferent cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agreee or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #diiferent #cultures #ages #agreee
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Quite a few individuals believe that music is a great mode of combining
people
Use synonyms
 of various traditions and ages as
one
Use synonyms
 group. I completely agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view
where
Correct word choice
that
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 music plays a vital role in bringing folks together. In the past decade or so , tunes were produced in a very melodic way with a slow beat which was preferred by a wide range of
people
Use synonyms
 at that time. But, when
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 evolved, tunes
also
Linking Words
 changed in many aspects. I would say
this
Linking Words
 has led to a variety of
songs
Use synonyms
 that
one
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 can relate
depending
Change preposition
to depending
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 on their mood. Hearing
to
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apply
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songs
Use synonyms
 is a mode where
people
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 tend to enjoy and express their feelings.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
i
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I
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 am feeling low
in
Change preposition
at
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 certain times,
i
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I
show examples
 am used to
listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
show examples
 a motivational song created by an American artist. So, irrespective of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 large number of
songs
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 produced in my language,
i
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I
show examples
 choose to listen to beats published by
another artist
Fix the agreement mistake
other artists
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 of different
origin
Fix the agreement mistake
origins
show examples
.
Public
Correct article usage
The public
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 nowadays
hear
Correct subject-verb agreement
hears
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a melody and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 touched by the reminiscences
about
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of
show examples
 their happenings in the past. Production now attracts folks all over the world , not only focusing on
one
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 particular community. Older
people
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 now are welcoming different genres and enjoying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Various concerts are performed by different artists in many languages that
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
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 a crowd irrespective of their age.
For example
Linking Words
, a boy band called BTS, based
off
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South Korea , has attracted fans everywhere in the world, regardless of creating
songs
Use synonyms
 in Korean. Individuals tend to celebrate them as idols and their concerts
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
 a community of
people
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 regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender,culture and traditions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my view, sounds and tunes are put together to generate how
one
Use synonyms
 is feeling in their life and express them.Through
this
Linking Words
, a group has developed a positive impact and how it has changed
one
Use synonyms
's personality. So, it has the
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
 to bring together humans without any
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
 of tradition and languages.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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