Some people think that young people playing electronic and computer games is helpful while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

It is argued that
children
playing
computer
games
and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
electronic gadgets
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
useful,
however
, others believe that it makes
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. The writer of
this
essay strongly agrees with
this
notion that the young can develop some soft skills
as well as
reduce stress after studying. One of the core reasons that using electronic tools is helpful
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
the young can develop some skills. To put it simply, when young citizens
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
games
, it can improve their brain in the sense of creation and flexibility.
As a consequence
, some teenagers have some interpersonal abilities
such
as leadership, critical thinking, teamwork and
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
with other
people
, which is helpful for their future.
In addition
, using electronic gadgets can have some benefits like working
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a remote distance, communicating with foreigners and searching
something
Change preposition
for something
show examples
they want on the Internet.
By contrast
, some inhabitants think that using
electronic
Add an article
the electronic
an electronic
show examples
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
and playing
computer
games
make
children
spend a lot of
time
on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
due to
it can make them
addicitve
Correct your spelling
addicted
. In
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
words, young
people
can
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
obsessed with
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
when they use the Internet and most of them have many bad habits
affect
Correct pronoun usage
that affect
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health. Take a typical website
for instance
, Facebook is one of the most popular applications all over the world with a lot of users
when
Correct word choice
because
show examples
it provides citizens with a place to relax, share with other
people
and many beneficial faculties so the youth easily get stuck in the virtual world, spending much
time
without eating and sleeping on chatting with friends. The writer
totally
Add a missing verb
is totally
show examples
down with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
notion that
computer
games
are useful for
children
due to
relaxing after studying. In other ways, it supplies youngsters with a room for recreational activities to relax,
entertain
Correct word choice
and entertain
show examples
after school,
highly
Correct word choice
and highly
show examples
impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their physical and mental health so
children
should have
time
for playing
games
and using electronic device. In conclusion,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
some
people
think that using electronic gadgets makes
time
float senselessly
due to
their addiction, others believe that playing
computer
games
can help young citizens with developing holistically some soft skills
as well as
improve their energy,
reduce
Correct word choice
and reduce
show examples
stress after studying at school.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Multiplayer interaction
  • Teamwork
  • Educational games
  • Stress relief
  • Mental health
  • Gaming addiction
  • Physical activity
  • Behavioral issues
  • Desensitization
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Time management
  • Eye strain
  • Posture problems
  • Sleep disturbances
What to do next:
Look at other essays: