IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 contemporary society, human living standards are improved significantly
as well as
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 rights.
However
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, there remains a controversial topic about whether online purchasing
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
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 benefits from advanced machinery or not. In my opinion, I think that advanced technologies have a significantly bad impact on both purchaser and manufacturer, which outweighed the advantages
To begin
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 with, it is generally believed that online shopping maximizes the huge amount of time for youngsters in
this
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 technological era. Clearly,
instead
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 of queuing
hours
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for hours
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 and hours or spending time travelling, shoppers just stay in front of a computer screen with a click to choose a variety of desiring items.
For instance
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, hunting for concert or football tickets is absolutely a headache for former-era people
due to
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 the tremendous time and effort people have to spend waiting.
In contrast
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, it is easily solved by using a computer or website which helps consumers approach the product easily via screen.
On the other hand
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, some researchers feel that focusing on the advantages of contemporary technology obscure the big picture related to their enormous disadvantages.
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firstly
Capitalize word
Firstly
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,It is generally believed that online shopping is usually considered a deceptive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 that betrays customers’ emotion and their trust. Clearly, the vivid images of marketed items surely blind consumer’s decisions. As a matter of fact, the customers are the only
victim
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victims
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 of the excessive marketing tool, which costs them money and a bad day.
Secondly
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, the media or technology field is one of the battle fields for producers but only the more powerful ones get the advantages. They can not only use the trick of marketing on Facebook or YouTube to expand clients’ information about products but
also
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 disseminate intensively bad reports of their
criminal
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criminals
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 in terms of dominating the economic market.
Therefore
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, it can affect badly to small producers and lead to the domination of business sharks.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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