IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently bought an electric gadget for your home. Your friend wants the same gadget and needs your advice. In this letter you should include: What the gadget is What you think about it Advice about other alternatives your friend could buy

#gadget #home #friend #advice #alternatives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mia, Hope everything is going well in your life. I just bought a new pair of headphones, and that makes me remember you. I clearly remember during our
last
 conversation, that you
also
 wanted to buy the same gadget from the brand Sony. I purchased it from one of the shops near my house. When I started using it, at first I found it very comfortable in terms of fitting on the head. There are some special features like outside noise control and a comfortable cushion pad for speakers. The most important thing is you can control the voice itself from headphones. I am completely satisfied with the instruments, I suggest you go for them.
However
,I suggest you look for other brands,
for example
, Boat or Zebronic. In comparison to Sony price for the above two brands is cheaper, but not sure about their quality. Hope
this
 letter will help you solve your confusion with buying. Soon want to have your new headphones. Yours lovingly, Jen.
Submitted by jaimini2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the main points of the task effectively, but there are some areas for improvement in providing a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a generally clear and logical organization, but some parts could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: