In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by many
people
that imposing excessive tariffs on
junk
food
is important as it will greatly reduce
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
risks of
people
in certain countries.
This
essay agrees that the government should charge higher taxes
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
fast
food
companies. The money
that is
raised by fast
food
organizations can be used to treat
people
who are suffering from
health
issues and it can be spent on educating
people
about
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
risks caused by the consumption of
junk
food
. Revenue gained from excising more on
junk
food
can be allocated to treat patients who have
health
consequences. There are many hospitals that are finding it difficult to provide proper medical facilities because of the monetary situation and at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
there are many patients that are struggling to treat their illnesses
due to
their financial status.
For instance
, a great program was initiated by McDonald’s where they funded unfortunate families with sick or injured children.
Moreover
, governments and businesses can use the money to educate
people
on possible
health
problems that can be caused by consuming unhealthy
food
. Majority of the teenagers eat
junk
food
on a daily basis without knowing the possible consequences caused by
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
Therefore
, authorities should spend more on publicizing information and different campaigns to promote
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
effects of
junk
food
.
As a result
,
people
would be more conscious of what they eat and try to limit
the
Change the word
their
show examples
intake of fast
food
. In conclusion, fast
food
companies should be imposed with tariffs to limit the
health
risks of
people
in some countries. Taxing
junk
food
will
also
help to fund hospitals and
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
educate the citizens to be more aware of the
food
they intake.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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