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Band 5.5

Some people believe that school holidays should be longer to give students more time to relax and enjoy their free time. Others argue that shorter holidays are necessary to maintain a strong focus on academic studies. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #school #holidays #students #time #focus #studies
In places all over the
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
students
 are having extended summer
holidays
. I believe that these
holidays
 are having a positive impact on the academic life of
students
. The long vacations cause the learning period to be shorter
therefore
 more condensed
therefore
 more stressful. But in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 stress is proven to increase the working capacity of
students
thus
 increasing their chance of success in their important exams. A student will always be much more satisfied from working hard, getting good results and having long and relaxing
holidays
 than by being less productive throughout the term
thus
 getting bad grades or failing and
then
 having short
holidays
 and having to retake classes in order to maybe have a better grade on their exam.
Secondly
, longer
holidays
 are very important for international
students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 may live very far away from where they study. Allowing them to take longer
holidays
 is very beneficial for them as they will be able to go back to their home country in order to see their family or their friends.
This
 is very important for the mental health of the
students
. Not seeing their family for an extended period of time may cause depression or
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
other sorts of mental health issues
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
students
.
This
 added to the potential bad grades will certainly put any
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 in a terrible state of mind.
Overall
, in my opinion, extended
holidays
 wouldn’t solve various problems for
students
while
 shortening their
holidays
 would cause many problems. As cited in the above. Beyond the grades, the mental health of the
students
 is extremely important and should be preserved.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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