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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart above shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

The chart above shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.
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The given bar chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 who attended
further
Linking Words
 education in the UK, and whether they chose full-time or part-time study over a 20-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, studying full-time was the most dominant option for both genders
although
Linking Words
 more
students
Use synonyms
 decided to study part-time over the years.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of women who received higher education experienced a substantial increase. Concerning the figures for part-time studies, there were around 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 male
students
Use synonyms
 studying part-time at the start of the period, doubling their female counterparts.
This
Linking Words
number
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 grew steadily to more than 200
thousand
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 in the years 1990 and 1991. In comparison, the sum of part-time female
students
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 escalated from 50
thousand
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 in 1970/71 to almost 200
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1980/81, and finishing at the same level as males a decade later. For the full-time
students
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, the
number
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 of men was about 1000
thousand
Use synonyms
 from the beginning, being more than the females by approximately 250
thousand
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 males fluctuated considerably throughout the years and reached 900
thousand
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, full-time female scholars demonstrated a significant increase in two decades, overtaking the
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 by 1990/91 (1100
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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