IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe that actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #actions #change
Nowadays, we observe the numerous unsustainable acts being performed by humans
has
Wrong verb form
which have
show examples
 led to vital damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 not only our environment but
also
 to animals
as well as
 plants.
While
 some people think
this
 is irreversible,
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some believe
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 still not too late and
this
 problem can be solved. In
this
 essay, I will explain both
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 views and will give my opinion on how we can reduce these negative impacts.
To begin
 with, we know climate change is extremely harmful and the reason behind it is none other than the unethical acts being taken by humans
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 toxic gases from cars, factories, waste burning etc. In order to overcome
this
 damage, we can take several steps i.e., motivate people to avoid using cars and prefer bicycles or walking. In
this
 way, we can not finish it all but can reduce it
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 extent.
For instance
, in
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
 the new project initiated by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has really proved helpful. The government has installed
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 stands on each street and people can use it for free and
this
 way they have
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
drastic
Add an article
a drastic
show examples
 decrease in car usage and their climate change has
controlled
Add a missing verb
been controlled
show examples
.
Furthermore
, we all should plant as
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 plants as we can.
This
 will fight the environment
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
will help in overcoming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
CO2 and
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spread more clean and fresh air in the atmosphere
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with the help of
this
 we can increase the life expectancy of animals, that will be extinct very soon.
For example
, the Prime Minister of Pakistan initiated a project called 1
million
Capitalize word
Million
show examples
 Tsunami of
plants
Capitalize word
Plants
show examples
.
As a result
, a lot of greenery is back and
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 breeding has gotten
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 positive impact.
Although
, we cannot close down all manufacturing industries for greenery.
Nevertheless
, we can at least take
such
 steps that overcome the risks of hazards and give us a beautiful and fresh day and night in
this
 world and we do not feel suffocate and depressed living in
this
 world.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: