Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There is no doubt that working for a
while
after high school
graduation is an excellent opportunity to gain practical experience
in your major while
also
saving money before attending university
. The problem is, how will it influence young people who want to work
for a few years after finishing high school
and going to university
? In this
essay, I will discuss both points of view and develop my own opinion.
Firstly
, I believe that the gap years between high school
and university
would not only be a wonderful opportunity to gain experience
through short-term work
but also
be mandatory for newly graduated high school
students to understand their interests and abilities prior to partaking in higher educational institutions. Getting out of our comfort zone when we are still students allows us to gain additional real-world experience
that university
does not teach. In addition
, we will know how to manage time, handle work
, and communicate well in order to perform our duties effectively. What’s more, we may suit the job
without going to university
and become successful in our own ways. Providing that we feel the job
does not fit us anymore, we can go to university
and open a new page in our life. If yes, we can enjoy their role and the responsibilities of working there as part-time staff while
applying to a university
with a major in the same field. This
period is similar to a step forward into the future that provides us with experience
. To illustrate, when we enter a new environment, we are pushed to adapt as quickly as possible so that we can work
, which will assist us in practising being flexible and avoiding being outcasted later on.
On the other hand
, starting to work
by the time of receiving tertiary education has numerous drawbacks. When we go to work
and are more interested in getting money than in obtaining experience
, it affects our lives and our learning. So, don't let the largest disadvantage be that earning additional money and working for yourself might become distracting, leading us to consider dropping out of school
and working. For instance
, my cousin decided to allow himself some time to work
before going to study, but he got away from this
, so he dropped out of school
, despite having a job
, and now he can only do little part-time employment.
In conclusion, I've always found that the advantages of a job
with at least a one-year gap between high school
and college outweigh the negatives. Working or developing yourself is never horrible since juveniles need to explore themselves.; there is more to learn than losing, and the most essential thing is that we must balance ourselves.Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the main points are developed coherently throughout the essay. The logical structure could be improved by organizing the ideas in a more cohesive manner.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Additionally, ensure that all the main points are directly relevant to the task and fully developed.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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