Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no doubt that working for a
while
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after high
school
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graduation is an excellent opportunity to gain practical
experience
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in your major
while
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also
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saving money before attending
university
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. The problem is, how will it influence young people who want to
work
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for a few years after finishing high
school
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and going to
university
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? In
this
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essay, I will discuss both points of view and develop my own opinion.
Firstly
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, I believe that the gap years between high
school
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and
university
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would not only be a wonderful opportunity to gain
experience
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through short-term
work
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but
also
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be mandatory for newly graduated high
school
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students to understand their interests and abilities prior to partaking in higher educational institutions. Getting out of our comfort zone when we are still students allows us to gain additional real-world
experience
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that
university
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does not teach.
In addition
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, we will know how to manage time, handle
work
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, and communicate well in order to perform our duties effectively. What’s more, we may suit the
job
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without going to
university
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and become successful in our own ways. Providing that we feel the
job
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does not fit us anymore, we can go to
university
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and open a new page in our life. If yes, we can enjoy their role and the responsibilities of working there as part-time staff
while
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applying to a
university
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with a major in the same field.
This
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period is similar to a step forward into the future that provides us with
experience
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. To illustrate, when we enter a new environment, we are pushed to adapt as quickly as possible so that we can
work
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, which will assist us in practising being flexible and avoiding being outcasted later on.
On the other hand
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, starting to
work
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by the time of receiving tertiary education has numerous drawbacks. When we go to
work
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and are more interested in getting money than in obtaining
experience
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, it affects our lives and our learning. So, don't let the largest disadvantage be that earning additional money and working for yourself might become distracting, leading us to consider dropping out of
school
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and working.
For instance
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, my cousin decided to allow himself some time to
work
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before going to study, but he got away from
this
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, so he dropped out of
school
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, despite having a
job
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, and now he can only do little part-time employment. In conclusion, I've always found that the advantages of a
job
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with at least a one-year gap between high
school
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and college outweigh the negatives. Working or developing yourself is never horrible since juveniles need to explore themselves.; there is more to learn than losing, and the most essential thing is that we must balance ourselves.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the main points are developed coherently throughout the essay. The logical structure could be improved by organizing the ideas in a more cohesive manner.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Additionally, ensure that all the main points are directly relevant to the task and fully developed.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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