Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many stars are more popular for their social media presence and
money
Use synonyms
rather than for their accomplishments. Some people say they set the wrong example for adults. I agree with
this
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statement, and I will explain the reasons in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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, at that time social media
is
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was
show examples
more powerful. Many actors
are spending
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spend
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whole days on that and show
up
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apply
show examples
their daily
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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of
luxury
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luxurious
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life and wealth. They are spending
the
Change the article
a
show examples
lot of
money
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on branded clothes and
jewelry
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jewellery
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to look
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
. They are earning good
money
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through social media.
For example
Linking Words
, teenagers are
attractive
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attracted
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on
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to
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them easily and
wants
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want
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to show
of
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off
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luxury
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luxurious
show examples
life without doing hard work.
This
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type of
behavior
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behaviour
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may destroy the children’s future.
Secondly
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, many
children’s
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children
show examples
of actors do not struggle for success and easily get the breakthrough because of the success of their parents. Ordinary people are doing the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
in
theator
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theatre
and deserve
the
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apply
show examples
success.
Due to
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nepotism
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,nepotism
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they are not given a chance to work, so the result they end their lives. When you become
a
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an
show examples
actor
then
Linking Words
you
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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the
Change the article
a
show examples
lot of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying branded clothes to create a good image in people.
For instance
Linking Words
, teenagers
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to look attractive so they are spending
the
Change the article
a
show examples
lot of
money
Use synonyms
on branded clothes. If
,
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apply
show examples
parents not
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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them, they will
involves
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in crime. In conclusion, it seems like should be glamour and wealth rather than detrimental to the young generation. If they are not guided properly, they will be under bad things.
Submitted by lavneet.kumar45 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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