IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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It is argued that
music
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 is the
tool
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 that can spread traditional
culture
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 on a global scale,
while
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 some of them claim that it can be misused by some societies that want to discredit their foes. In my opinion, when
music
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 is used for entertainment purposes, it will connect
people
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 from different countries. On the one hand, some
people
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 want to
use
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music
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 in different ways, one of them is used
in
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as
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 a governmental
tool
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 that can create a lack of communication
to
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with
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 other
people
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.
For example
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, Cambodian
people
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use
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music
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 to spread fake news that directly affects
to
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apply
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Thailand; they claim
this
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music
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 is their
culture
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,
while
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 Thailand argues
this
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 since they developed
this
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 style longer than Cambodia.
As a result
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, both of them hated each other until the prime minister of Cambodia said sorry in
this
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 debate, it
is
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was
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 his fault that
want
Wrong verb form
he wanted
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 to
use
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this
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 development
to
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as
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 be governmental
tool
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.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 era made the advances in technology that can share information very convenient;
this
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 technology is a platform to spread each unique
culture
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 to another global area. To illustrate, social media can share videos in
real time
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real-time
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 making animation companies in Japan
use
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this
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 opportunity to develop cartoons that have gimmicks in their traditional
music
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such
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 as Kansai style.
Thus
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,
people
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 who watch the animation can learn about Japanese
culture
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, and the owners can be proud of themselves which is viewed by various communities. In conclusion,
although
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music
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 can be a
tool
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 that discredits the opposite side, it can be used on a social media platform that can post
this
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music
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 to give knowledge about the owner of it.
Hence
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, I think if we
use
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music
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 with ethics that
use
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 only way of entertainment, everyone will receive only happiness same as in Japan who
use
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 the internet to share their
music
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 style.
Submitted by jirawat.sea on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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