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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplace #countries #outweigh
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Today, communities in many countries consider
this
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 business to be more important than education. Individuals with achievement enterprises are given more importance in organizations than those with theoretical competence.
This
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 has both advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages. I believe that its benefits outweigh the disadvantages. It has been accepted that
knowledge
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 is valuable, as is the foundation of
experience
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. It is accepted that
knowledge
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 is very important. It is the foundation of
experience
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. Everyone often needs to use
knowledge
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 to confirm their abilities. But from my
work
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experience
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, Experienced people are people who have learned from real experiences. Through the
work
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 process solving. A variety of problems can lead to life lessons that can be developed into awareness and expertise in their
work
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. Those with
experience
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 are going to understand how it works and can handle all types of situations well which is necessary and very useful in a career because involvement is not the same as know-how.
In other words
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, an experienced person knows the process to
work
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 well in any situation, which will benefit the organization. And that's what most organizations want. The pros have a clear advantage in giving more value to
experience
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 when your
knowledge
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 works. Which currently requires people with a variety of skills not just in technology
for
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this
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 reason,
Experience
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 is more important than
knowledge
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. And if the organization does not have a person with the necessary
experience
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. It is impossible for the organization to progress in the future. As we have seen education is important in today's business,
it's
Correct word choice
and it's
show examples
 apparent that the benefits of emphasizing
experience
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 outweigh any disadvantages.
Submitted by wanmai3636 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. It's important to provide a more comprehensive treatment of the topic and use specific examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas, but there are issues with logical structure and lack of clear introduction and conclusion. A more organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion is needed for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • workplace
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentor
  • colleagues
  • innovation
  • stagnation
  • traditional methods
  • recent graduates
  • theoretical knowledge
  • diversity
  • viewpoints
  • proven ability
  • stability
  • industries
  • technology
  • adaptation
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