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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A glance at the provided pie charts reveal how many hours are spent in the library by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to all students at university of Britain.

A glance at the provided pie charts reveal how many hours are spent in the library by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to all students at university of Britain.
#glance #hours #library #undergraduates #postgraduates #students #university #britain
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A glance at the provided pie charts
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
 how many
hours
Use synonyms
 are spent in the library by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to all
students
Use synonyms
 at
Correct article usage
the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, undergraduates who are reading books spend less pattern than both postgraduates and other
students
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly seen that just under two-thirds
undergraduate
Change preposition
of undergraduate
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 level
students
Use synonyms
 spend at most seven
hours
Use synonyms
 per week than the average proteges.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the figures were 63% and seventeen
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a tiny minority of freshmen spend more than fifteen
hours
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
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, master's and
PhD
Correct your spelling
Ph.D.
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 category are just above 50 percent. Meanwhile, the time spent in
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 for
further
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
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 differently.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, most spend
till
Change preposition
apply
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14
hours
Use synonyms
 per week (85%), but from
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 exactly
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
show examples
 of the
students
Use synonyms
 spend at least one hour in a British library, which is approximately three times more than the corresponding figure for postgraduates at university.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provided" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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